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Perspective (6 Februari 2025)

 

Ever since we stopped being we, everything’s changed. I used to listen to music, hear quotes or read poetry and just enjoy them they were just words just melodies things I liked but never really felt, now I understand them in a way I never did before. The songs hit differently, the lyrics I used to sing a long to now feel like they’re singing about me. The quotes I used to scroll past they feel personal like they were written for exactly what I’m going through. And the Poetry its like every line pulls at something I didn’t even know I had inside me. It’s strange how you can go from hearing words to feeling them, from just enjoying something to realizing its your reality. Its not just poetry or music anymore its heartbreak longing memories, its everything I never thought I’d never understand and now I feel it all too much. I guess that’s what happens when you’ve loved and lost. You start to see the world through the eyes of every writer, every singer, every person who’s ever felt what you’re feeling now and the words they’ll never be the same again.

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aku masih disini,masih berdiri di tempat yang sama. aku tak benar benar pergi darimu,aku hanya menepi dan membiarkan mu bahagia dengan jalan yang kau pilih. aku selalu menjagamu dalam diam, melihatmu dari kejauhan dan merindukanmu dalam sepi. kembalilah jika kau mau tak usah terburu-buru. 13 Desember 2021
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Trying.

I'm trying to be happy. trying to live my life without you. but it’s difficult to do that when you’re all i can think about. you’re all i can think about when i see lovers living their lives for each other, because that’s everything i’ve ever wanted with you. and now, because of you… i know exactly what it’s like to want something i can’t have. i know what it’s like to miss someone i can’t see every day. i know what it’s like to love someone who doesn’t love me back. maybe, someday, i’ll finally be able to find another person to put in your place, but sometimes it all comes crashing down in my head, and the reality is just too hard for me to handle. because, i just want you. i want you on your bad days. i want your imperfections. i want your insecurities. and i want to be the person to love you and be there for you when everyone else turns away.
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Time heals? (2 Februari 2025)

  They say time heals but it doesn’t really does it? Its not healing, its just learning how to live with the weight of it. The memories don’t fade, the feelings don’t disappear you just figure it out how to carry them. At first it feels impossible, every song every place every quiet moment reminds you of her. Her laugh her touch, the way she looked at you like you were her whole world it all lingers like a ghost. You cant escape and people tell you, you’ll move on but they don’t tell you how. They don’t tell you that moving on doesn’t mean forgetting. It doesn’t mean the love goes away. It just means you learn to live with the emptiness she left behind, because some people they leave a mark on your soul. No amount of time can erase it. You don’t stop loving her, you just learn how to keep going, even with the ache in your chest that whispers, it should have been her.
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