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some days, i feel like i’m completely fine after you left me

some days, i feel like i’m completely fine after you left me.

i can listen to songs without the lyrics taunting me with the memories of me and you. i can let out a true deep laugh that comes from the bottom of my stomach, now that the butterflies that used to live there is all gone. i can fall into a nice 8 hours sleep, not waking up randomly in the middle of the night. i can read a hundred mellow and sad poetries yet not feeling blue at all. i can smile wide, reaching both of my eyes, and not a thought of you crossing my mind.

some days, i feel nothing, it’s so much worst than you think.

a song comes from the radio and all the lyrics pricking my skin until it bleeds, laughing at me with all the what-if and maybe. when i try to laugh, it feels like something choking my pale neck and my stomach’s full with dead, wingless butterflies. i can’t sleep, always waking up before sunrise and wondering where did it all go wrong. sad poetries mocking me because i’m a huge fool and drowning in a sea of blue. and no matter how hard i try to smile, it won’t reach both of my eyes. it tastes like bitter acceptance.

some days, i feel like i’m completely fine after you left me.

some days, i feel nothing, it’s so much worst than you think.

most days, i feel like a fool, because until now, i’m still in love with you.

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Riset #1 Perbedaan Cewek dan Cowok setelah putus

Helo, bertemu lagi sama gue yak. Udah lama gak update blog lagi, sorry banget ya. Oiya , selamat tahun baru ya! Maaf telat ngucapinnya di blog, tapi kalo di twitter sama facebook udah kok. Stalking aja! :v Malem-malem gini gue mau kembali ngeblog lagi nih. Btw, masih pada nerima gue kan jadi tukang ketik di blog Amburadul ini kan? Nerima gak nerima gapapa deh, yang penting bisa bermanfaat bagi gue dan kalian semua pembaca setia blog yang gak untuk dibaca . Oiya kemarin gue ngga sengaja liat vidio riset gitu di laptop teme gue,yaudah gue coba aja ngikut ngikut buat vidio riset,tapi berhubung jaringan=kuota nggak emadai buat upload video,yaudah jadilah tulisan ini,hope you like it :) Banyak orang yang bingung kenapa saat putus, cowok kelihatan biasa biasa aja sedangkan cewek kayaknya tertekan banget ni ya gue kasi ilustrasinya : Cewek   : “ halohh,lo lagi dirumah nggak ? gue kerumah lo sekarang yaaah *nada melas gituu *nyampe rumah temennya “Guee...
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disable

aku masih disini,masih berdiri di tempat yang sama. aku tak benar benar pergi darimu,aku hanya menepi dan membiarkan mu bahagia dengan jalan yang kau pilih. aku selalu menjagamu dalam diam, melihatmu dari kejauhan dan merindukanmu dalam sepi. kembalilah jika kau mau tak usah terburu-buru. 13 Desember 2021
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I'm trying to be happy. trying to live my life without you. but it’s difficult to do that when you’re all i can think about. you’re all i can think about when i see lovers living their lives for each other, because that’s everything i’ve ever wanted with you. and now, because of you… i know exactly what it’s like to want something i can’t have. i know what it’s like to miss someone i can’t see every day. i know what it’s like to love someone who doesn’t love me back. maybe, someday, i’ll finally be able to find another person to put in your place, but sometimes it all comes crashing down in my head, and the reality is just too hard for me to handle. because, i just want you. i want you on your bad days. i want your imperfections. i want your insecurities. and i want to be the person to love you and be there for you when everyone else turns away.
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