Jomb's Story. . .

The smile that you threw when I first saw you is the day that I realized that perfection does exist. I was blown away by the way you stare at me—not knowing that one day I will fall for that gaze. But i never knew the smile that you threw when I first saw you would be the start of my downfall for i'll always be the one who falls for your laugh while you'll always be busy admiring someone else's eyes. — I didn't know I'd fall on my own but here I am now.

Orang bilang, jangan terlalu percaya pada apa yang kamu percaya, apa yang kamu lihat, apa yang kamu dengar, dan, terlebih lagi apa yang kamu rasa. —Apa yang kamu percaya, belum tentu sepenuhnya benar dan salah. Misalnya ilmu alam, dan aplikasi perkiraan cuaca. Mereka bilang, bulan Oktober sampai Desember akan hujan lebat. Nyatanya? Desemberku cerah, matahari pun mencuat tak tahu malu. Langit juga tak kalah cantiknya seperti permen kapas. —Apa yang kamu lihat, belum tentu sepenuhnya benar dan salah. Misalnya saja, kamu melihat orang berbaju lusuh, bau, tak mandi, berantakan, kamu anggap mereka preman atau gelandangan. Nyatanya bisa saja dia merupakan orang hilang yang butuh bantuan, ingin tahu dimana dia sekarang dan kemanakah arah pulang kerumahnya. —Apa yang kamu dengar, belum tentu sepenuhnya benar dan salah. Misalnya, kamu mendengar suara anak kecil berteriak kesakitan, "Sakit Ayaah! Sakit! Dede sakit!". Kamu berfikir itu merupakan sebuah kekerasan yang dilakukan...

Moving on isn't about forgetting. It's about accepting. That someone is no longer yours. That someone is just not meant to be with you. Moving on is not forgetting. Moving on is not forcing yourself to let go either. Moving on goes naturally. Just like the way you breathe, talk and walk. It takes time but once you do–you'll be okay. But I can't promise that you'll be the same person after a heartbreak. Because heartbreak tend to change people. And again, moving on is not forgetting.

I hate seeing your smile because it's just so fake. I hate the sound of your voice when you talk because it sounds like you are about to cry. I hate the way you walk because it's just awkward. I hate the fact that you always laugh even when it's not funny. I hate it when you cry because sometimes it's for no fucking reason. I hate it when you think you're loved. I hate everything about you. Don't take it seriously, I'm just talking to myself.

"When someone fall in love, it's like their world is spinning too fast and it seems like forever doesn't last. All they want is to live forever. But that's not what happened to me. When I fell in love with her , I didn't even want tomorrow to come." — How unlucky I was.

Putus asa tak selalu tentang seseorang yang mengakhiri hidupnya. Putus asa bisa saja dilakukan seseorang dari hal-hal yang tampak biasa saja. Ketika seseorang yang periang yang selalu tampak tersenyum perlahan menjadi seseorang yang tak lagi acuh atau peduli dengan orang di sekelilingnya. Putus asa tak selalu terdengar. Putus asa bisa saja terlihat ketika seseorang tak lagi menuntut cintanya untuk setia atau tetap tinggal di hidupnya. Ketika seseorang yang ia cinta pergi dari hidupnya, ia hanya diam. Keputusasaan bisa tumbuh dimana dan kapan saja. Putus asa tak harus diteriakkan atau ditunjukkan. Ketika seseorang berhenti memakan makanan kesukaannya lalu berkata "aku tidak lapar". Mungkin sebelum benar-benar putus asa, seseorang tersebut berhenti melakukan hal-hal yang dulu ia lakukan dan memilih mati perlahan dalam diam. — Lalu pergi dan mengakhiri.

“There are days when I wish I didn’t meet you; that I never learned your name; that I never got to feel what it felt like to be in your arms. But then I have days when I thank god for bringing me to you; even though we didn’t work out, I’m thankful I got to recall the colors of your eyes and touch your skin with mine. The thing is, you’re my greatest mistake and favorite memory at the same time; I hate you but I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving you. You consume my thoughts and even though you broke my heart, I’m still waiting here for you to come back and mend it.” —

P ernahkah kalian menggapai udara lalu menggenggamnya? Tidak bisa diperlihatkan walaupun sebenarnya ada. Mungkin begitulah rasanya mencintai seseorang tanpa ikatan apa-apa. Dia bisa saja pergi darimu, walaupun itu sama sekali bukan kemauanmu. Sekali waktu kamu mungkin dilanda cemburu. Tapi kamu berhak apa? Sementara tak ada komitmen apapun antara kamu dan dia. Hanya teman dengan perasaan yang terlalu nyaman. Berkabar dan saling bercerita bagaimana hari ini dilalui, bukan berarti kalian saling memiliki. Jika tiba-tiba ada hati lain yang hadir, mungkin saja bukan lagi denganmu dia mencurahkan isi hati. Jika sudah begitu, lukamu menjadi tanggung jawabmu sendiri. Kamu tak bisa menyalahkan dia dan keadaan. Sebab kamu memilih semakin jauh terbawa perasaan. Jika bukan cinta, katakan saja. Jangan berpura-pura lebih lama. Agar kamu tahu harus bertahan atau mundur perlahan.

“ If I ever decide to give up on you, just understand how much that took out of me. I'm the type to give endless chances, always have your back when you're wrong and truly accept you for who you are... when the rest of the world doesn't want you, I will. So if I ever give up on you, understand it took everything I had left inside of me to leave you alone. Because if I love you and care for you, there isn't anything on this planet I wouldn't do for you. ”

Maybe you don’t end up with the person your heart chooses. Maybe that’s not how life works. Maybe you don’t get what you want. Maybe you end up finding what you need, and maybe the Universe knows what you need more than you do. Maybe love changes. Maybe it goes from “I’ll wait up and call you after work,” to “I’m going to sleep, I’m tired.” Maybe it goes from “You have nothing to worry about,” to “I really wish you didn’t overthink so much.” Maybe it goes from “I choose you,” to “I have to choose myself right now.” Maybe love isn’t one of those things that grows with certain people. Maybe you become too big for it. Maybe it becomes too uncomfortable, too small for who you change into. Maybe it’s like that sweater you always loved growing up, or your childhood bed. You learn to appreciate it for what it was, but you come to terms with the fact that you have outg...

Here's what I do when Im starting to lose hope in life and starting to think everything in life is meaningless: Yes, I do think about ending my life. I think about how many time I've wasted my time doing all the shitty things. Im starting to blame myself for not ending my life earlier. But, I think and remember of the past. When I look back, my life is changing a lot. Well, it's not changing in a good way or bad either. It is changing in both way. And I think of the easiest way how to end my life. I think of the things that will kill me but will not hurt me either. I think of how my mother would feel if I ever end my life. I picture her screaming and crying. But at the same time, I don't care. Because when I am feeling so down and losing hope in life—I never really care about what will others feel about it. I think and think. I'll cry and listen to the most emotional song that I have in my playlist. And I think of how would I feel when I die. I think about the d...