Ceritanya anak Jomb's. . .

If I was your man, I wouldn’t give you a bouquet of flowers but a bouquet of chicken nuggets. If I was your man, I wouldn’t give you a box of chocolates on Valentine’s but a box of handwritten letters. If I was your man, you’d forever live through my writings. If I was your man, I love you’s and thank you’s would fill your inbox, to remind you of how much I love you and how thankful I am with your existence. If I was your man, my voice would be the first and last thing you’ll hear each day and night. If I was your man, I’d never get tired of telling you how beautiful you are. If I was your man, one look would be all it needs for me to tell what you’re thinking. If I was your man, your pain would be my pain. I know my hug will not suffice but it will surely ease you even for a little bit. If I was your man, your lips would be the only ones I’d ever kiss, your hands I’d hold, and your waist I’d tickle. If I was your man, I’d treat you as my queen because you deserve it. :)

i. it feels like ripping off a bandage when the wounds are still bleeding. it hurts a lot but i need to rip the bandage off to change it to a new one—to avoid infections and further damage to the wound. ii. it feels like stopping to swim because your hands are tired from treading the water. it feels like letting your head fall back and drown. iii. it feels like holding your breath after the smoke of your cigarette is spreading in your lungs like oxygen. it kills you slowly and chokes you. iv. it feels like being left alone in the dark and forgetting if there was even light to begin with. v. it feels like being robbed but the difference is, what they took from you was never yours in the first place. how could i let you go when you're not even mine?

For you maybe I was a feeling of coming home, being home, For me you were a deciduous shelter in the shelter-less forever that existed within me. Yours are the arms I need to dive into come sunset, Mine are the arms I hope you seek solace in come twilight. Yours is the smile I yearn to see come nightfall, Mine is the smile I hope you find peace in come morning. Yours are the hands I want on my hips come midnight, Mine are the hands I hope you reach for at dawn. Yours are the eyes I want to get lost in every night, Mine are the eyes I hope you see at every sunrise and sunset. Yours is the voice I want whispering ‘good night’ in my ear, Mine is the voice I hope you listen to in the after hours. Your presence is what I want to feel wherever I am, My presence is what I hope you miss all the time I’m away. Your scent is what I want to envelope me when we sleep, My scent is what I want on you when we wake up. Your lips are the ones I want to kiss before I sleep, every night,

Remember when I told you that after all these years, it was you. It has always been you. And I mean it; I mean it when I said you mattered to me so much, when I said that you were always special, when I said that you changed my life in ways I wasn’t expecting. I never said it outright. I never said what those words exactly meant. I never directly said the words that you deserve to hear. But just this once, I am putting it out in the open: I love you. I didn’t vanish from your life because I realized you weren’t meant the risk. I didn’t stop because you didn’t matter anymore. I didn’t choose to be silent because I do not truly love you. I’m straying away from you because I’m giving you what you deserve, what you have always deserved—freedom to be happy, freedom to choose who you want to be with, freedom to live your life the way you want to. I love you too much that I promised myself I would let you be happy by choosing your happiness over mine. I love you too much that I’ve let mysel